It all started when I went to work as a school bus driver a few years back. I was the rookie and one my first day all the other drivers told me I had to buy lunch. No big deal. I knew where the closest Micky D's was at and willing to be a team player. So I went to mcdonalds and ordered Big Macs for all. I even got a few extras. I brought lunch back to the gang and from there on I was know as Big Mac. They loved it and loved calling me Big Mac.
So I wore the moniker of Big Mac and was starting to become proud of it. Every time I bought lunch everyone knew what was coming. They liked it and I was starting to fit in. So much that I was promoted to run the Sesame Street bus route. I was confused seeing how my town had no street named Sesame. I was stoked though, so I got the info on the route and come to find out it only had four stops. I was like, wow. This oughta be cake. So Monday morning rolls around and I'm off from the bus barn, en-route on my latest journey. 4 stops.... No problem. The clock wasn't being my friend this morning so I was trying to cut some time. I got to my first stop. A minute late but alright. Two young ladies boarded the bus. Ironically both of their names were Patty. Although one spelled her name Patti. These were some large young ladies. I mean really large. I was just thankful that each one sat on different sides of the bus, otherwise I would have been driving in circles. I got the Patties on board and set out for stop two. I could see from about a half mile away a young man and it would seem he was licking a mailbox. The Patties told me his name was Ross. The kids all called him Special Ross. He was a good kid and hopped on the bus and away we went. Come to find out it was only a three stop route with four pickups. So on to my last stop. The kids were talking and I learned that our next rider was Lester Sneeds. Lester was out waiting when I arrived and was excited to get on the bus. It was odd though. He was wearing flip flops in February. Then it came clear, he started picking at his feet. Picking bunyons. Ick. Now it was time to get this bus on its way to school. I looked at my watch and had lost about three minutes on the timeline. I was homeward bound so I decided to step on it a little. Bad idea. Next thing I know I'm getting pulled over, in a schoolbus no less. While waiting for the officer to come to the door the kids and I are all getting nervous. They are starting to get loud and this is making me more nervous or at least a lil tense. I have to get these kids to school on time. The officer approaches finally after damn near five minutes. My clock is screwed at this point and I'm a bit upset. The officer proceeds to tell me I was doing 23 in a 20mph school zone. Now I was really ticked!!! I had to light this mounty up.
"Look man, I need to get this bus to school! I've got two obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Sneed, picking his bunyons, on the Sesame Street Bus!!!"
Regards. Big Mac.
Just a breify...Carmen oooot
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